Being There

Among the other groovy things I have been doing lately, I have been teaching again.

I have always rather enjoyed it, and for me it is a way of giving back. In my current part-time teaching gig I have to opportunity to work with young adults who are aspiring audio engineers, producers, film- makers or musicians. I have taught a bunch of courses ranging from Location Audio to Film Scoring to Career Management.

It’s wonderful that I no longer have to deal with classroom discipline problems. ‘Johnny’ can tell me to “fuck off” if he wishes- he is paying quite handsomely for the privilege. But when said ‘Johnny’ is looking for a job in a very competitive, but surprisingly closely-knit, industry he may ultimately question the wisdom of his words. Nor do I take it personally when someone nods off in the middle of a lecture on the difference between publishing royalties and mechanicals. Indeed, for those of us who have endured the teaching profession in a public high school, my current gig would seem like a panacea.

Work not handed in? That’s a zero. No, I don’t mind if you leave early. No, I don’t really mind if you miss class. Again. No, it doesn’t matter why you didn’t hand in your work. You had anthrax? Damn shame. Fallen arches? Your girlfriend’s uterus fell out? That must suck. You got lost because you had to drive a friend to another friend’s house and you lost track of the time and your car wouldn’t start and once you got it going you were hungry so you stopped at McDonalds and there was a huge line at the drive-thru and by the time you got my Happy Meal class was almost over anyways, so you figured….

No probs, man. I have become so very…Zen about it all. Just don’t ask me for a reference next year when you graduate.

One of my preaching teaching topics is how I got to score a TV series a number of years ago. I was given an episode to score. So I did it. Quickly. It was maybe five minutes of music to write. I got it Monday morning, delivered a draft Monday afternoon, spoke with the producers Monday night, fixed and re-delivered by noon on Tuesday. It was approved, and on the air that Friday. I was offered another episode right away. Bada Bing.

Unbeknownst to me, two other guys were given the same episode to score. Apparently after 2 weeks, neither of them had handed anything in. They were probably  “not into it” or were having trouble deciding which snare drum sound to use. Nonetheless, it reinforced something I have always believed: You don’t necessarily have to be fabulously good (though it helps); but you do have to be THERE.

This has become a kind of mantra for me: The most important part of success is showing up. Since so many- perhaps most- don’t, it certainly cuts down on the competition.

The Things I Do For Money

Now that I have posted 2 (TWO) blogs in the same week, regular readers of this space (all 3 of you) will be expecting a plague of frogs and locusts. If that occurs, remember that locusts are a good source of protein. Nom nom nom nom.

I am posting again to show what I did before my Christmas vacation: I got to be Einstein.

I had a music client 30 years ago who called me "Einstein" because He thought I was smart. (If you can fool the people......) Or maybe it was because he thought I made him sound like Lionel Ritchie.

Indeed, impersonating people, things, accents, lamps, etc has been a specialty of mine as long as I can remember. And I have often found myself in trouble because of this specialty. I recall a certain Phys-Ed teacher in high school (whom I dubbed "War Eagle" because of his macho posturing and his uncanny resemblance to a wrestler of the same name). He also had a very particular cadence to his speech pattern. Maybe we musicians are just naturally good at picking up on these things. It stands to reason.

So one day I happened to do my War Eagle impersonation in gym glass (I was about 15) while he was yammering on about something or other while holding a volleyball under his arm. As I turned to my fellow student and uttered (sotto voce, I may add) my witty impersonation, War Eagle launched said volley ball at my head. As my glasses smashed against my face and fell to the floor in pieces, I was reminded of something Steve Martin would say a few years later, "Comedy is not pretty."

Which brings me to last fall, when I was asked to do an Einstein impersonation for the Hebrew University. Naturally I agreed. My acting career has never quite panned out as I expected, so I am open to any job that doesn't involve nudity. And I think Robert DeNiro was busy that week.

Here is the English Version.

The accent was a bit of a challenge- I listened to recordings of man himself, who had a throaty voice and rather quaint lilt to his speech. One has to watch doing these kinds of accents, because a quaint Viennese lilt can turn into a spluttering, rabid Hitler very easily. At least for me. And then, to add to the fun (and this is Canada) I had to do a French version. For that, I became a method actor (not really...I just felt like saying that) and reached back into my 40 years as as Quebecker, used to hearing Europeans speaking French with their native accents. I am not sure I got it quite right, but it's not bad. If I do say so myself.

Here is the French Version.

So there you have it.  It must have been worth it because my wife saw part of it on TV last night. Maybe I should have bought a better mustache.

Look at ALL the Groovy Stuff I've Been Doing!

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One of the commonalities between teaching students and writing resumés is that you are forced to come to terms with all the stuff you have done in your professional life.

I have recently been collecting YouTube videos of corporate work I have done in the past few years as part of my “corporate communications portfolio”. You never know how much stuff you have done until you go looking through it all.

As for teaching, I have a great number of funny- and no-so-funny stories of my about-35 years (35 years?? ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…thump) doing this stuff. I was relaying some of the amusing ones last week: the heroin-addicted director who fired me from scoring his film after hearing (on a dreadful, knackered sound system that reproduced nothing below 200 Hz) the first 8 minutes I had worked on. And how I was re-hired 2 days before the film went to Post because, through the drug-addled brains of those responsible, no one had thought about asking anyone else to do the job.  Or the time I hadn’t been paid for my work after 22 months- I called Blockbuster (they of late, lamented fame) and asked them to remove the movie from their shelves- I had not been paid; they were in violation of copyright for a music score I had not granted rights to. When the Producer heard about my call to Blockbuster, he threatened to kill me and burn my house down. Nice fella.

On a more benign note, years ago I had a client who was (and presumably still is) very, very wealthy. Yet every time he wrote out a cheque for my services, his eyes would well up with tears. It guess it’s tough parting with those whom you love most.

Or, as a producer, the fines I had to repeatedly pay ACTRA for late payment- they demand their money in 13 days while my client (a bank) took 90 days to pay me. You have to love being a bank to a bank!

Speaking of banks, I wrote a signature “branding” tune for a bank to be used every time an employee’s computer boots up or shuts down. (Those of you who take the Toronto GO Train, know which bank I am referring to…) over 10 years later, I am pretty sure it’s still being used. Clearly I did not charge nearly enough for it! But nevertheless…in a previous blog, I mentioned that last summer I was financially sodomized by a bank. (Yes it was that one!) While coughing up most of my retirement savings to keep from being pushed into bankruptcy, I did get a bit of a charge out of knowing that the Chief Sodomizer gets to hear my finger work twice a day for as long as he is in the employ of that bank- even when he leaves the Department  of Financially Sodomizing Non-Delinquent Clients. I wonder if they will give him a cake. Or some cufflinks.

It does take a couple of years to ramp-up business when you re-locate. I have done as much pimping of my wares as I can. One thing that I notice about blogs is how blatantly they are used as marketing tools. I suppose this is no different. I have posted the link to the Lunenburg Waterfront Walk, which I recorded and produced and look to do more this year as they whole town goes Wi-Fi. (yes that was a Marketing/ Pimping Alert. Sorry for the inconvenience). We did it in 3 languages. Speaking or recording in foreign languages...The hardest language I ever had to record for a voice-over was Tamil. I was totally at the mercy of the voice talent who was a delightful woman who helped me shepherd all those phrases into the correct spots (I have visions of people listening to voice-overs rolling on the floor as they hear, "belly bum bum poop..." as translations to a Very Serious Topic. Maybe it's because I am not above doing such a thing myself.)

I will be ramping up “spring singer/songwriter specials” in the studio. It's fabulous alliteration, I know. Stay tuned. I am especially motivated these days. And every time I get in that studio I get all silly and tell my console and every piece of my equipment how much I love them. All of them. And, truthfully, with me and my so-well-loved gear there have been some good things going on here lately.

Premier Darrel Dexter in the studio earlier this month

MORE Upcoming Marketing/ Pimping Alerts:  I had Nova Scotia Premier Darrell Dexter in here recording a podcast for the Bluenose Operahouse Radio Network earlier this month. Any guy who remembers bands like Mashmakan, and know all the names of the members of April Wine is good with me. He really was a delightful fellow. I was wondering if there was any security around the place. My wife, Janine, said there was a suspicious looking guy outside wearing a baseball cap but was sporting an ear piece. I am a little disappointed there were no helicopters flying overhead. But they would have messed up the recording. I guess my security clearance is better than I think.

Bob Ardern is up for Instrumental Album of the Year on the Zone Music Reporter Awards. I co-produced, played on and recorded some of that CD and am very pleased with how well it turned out. I have quite a few CD’s that will be released shortly that have been recorded here and I think the place is getting a reputation for being a great place to create. And I have good gear. And God knows I am charming beyond all measure. Just ask me. I will even play on your CD as part of the package. Just like I did for the bank. Only better.

Seriously, though, I do find great similarity between being a teacher and recording/ producing music. In both situations you are helping someone realize their potential and using your skill, knowledge and tact to come up with something good. And being the age I am (AHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh….thump) I realize more and more how valuable that is.

So with all that’s going on this spring (2 films I am scoring- more pimpage to come...) I am hoping I will be “entrenched” here. Not like I am going anywhere…

NEW FRONTIERS

You may have noticed that I changed the look of my website. I am assuming, of course, that you have looked. If you have, you will notice that it is more in keeping the rather folksy look of this blog.

The old one was nice- shiny and clever and very professional-looking. But it was very difficult to update. I had to call the web designer and ask him to make changes. This way I can do it myself. You have been warned.

Speaking of new formats, my new year’s resolution for 2013 (in addition to losing 25 lbs, drinking less wine and not fretting so much) is to push my business as hard and far as I can. There are opportunities out there in film, music production and multi-media.

Given that I do audio for all of that- particularly the multimedia aspect- I am sure I will be successful at it. Besides, as my wife and I agreed last night, I am way too talented to not succeed. Just ask me.

So onward and upward. There is lots of music to record, lots of projects to record and produce and film.

Fallen

I wish I typed faster. If I did, I’d blog way more often. My wife, Janine, is a lightning fast typist (90 words a minute or so) so it’s no wonder she gets so much done. She is up with the dawn, downstairs with coffee every morning blazing away on her computer with her sexy, geeky glasses on.

I take 6 months to write a blog. But my excuse this time is that it’s been pretty busy around here.  The studio is doing very well and I am teaching in Halifax at least a couple of days a week. So between us, Janine and I are working 7 days a week. We try to squeeze in a mutual day off here and there. Sometimes we are successful, sometimes not.

I am in the process of mixing a CD I am producing for Ann Fearon- which will be lovely when we are done. I have also been working on a project for folk singer-songwriter Vince Morash. After working on one of Ann’s songs yesterday, I put up “Fallen”, a tune of Vince’s we just finished recording last Thursday.

Now I know I am a bit of a sentimental fellow, but a lot of these songs, both from Vince and Ann really get to me. “Fallen” is about a fellow Vince once encountered pan handling on a street in Vancouver’s Lower East Side- about as bad an area as we have in this country.

As I worked on the song, I was reminded about a time, in a past life, when I was playing in a community concert band in that same part of the same city- East Hastings Street. It was a Christmas concert, and we were performing for the ‘fallen’ in a shelter. They had to endure at least one selection from the band before being ushered into the dining hall for their free (and likely only) Christmas dinner.

As the doors opened and they ambled inside, I was surprised how many of them were young and middle-aged. The waft of cigarette smoke preceded them, along with their almost palpable resignation and hopelessness.

As I looked at them from my perch in the back row, with my $3500 trombone in hand, I wondered how they had ended up there. Many surely had drug/booze issues. Others were likely crazies off their meds and on the streets.  But so many of them seemed pretty lucid- almost, dare I say, normal. People who hit a bad patch and ended up fallen. A divorce, death of a loved one, bad business decision, laid off by their employer…so many possible ways to end up on the skids.

It occurred to me that so many of us are a couple of missed pay cheques away from taking this kind of a tumble. In these times, in spite of all our government programs to make the world a better place, things seem to be getting crueler every day. I wonder how many of those fallen were ultimately taken down by the very systems put in place to “protect” them: government, banks, insurance companies. How many have been foreclosed upon, lost property, found they were not insured or were driven to bankruptcy through a series of bad luck or bad decisions?

Vince’s song strikes a chord (yuk yuk yuk) with me because my recent circumstances made it abundantly clear how easily any of us could be blindsided. In the last 5 years I have been divorced, relocated (twice) had a business investment go sour, re-married and re-started everything in a new province. And I am still trying to sell my Toronto condo (No reasonable offer will be refused…) But a couple of months ago, without going into unnecessary details, a bank with whom I’d had a 26-year relationship decided to make my life very, very difficult. Six months from now, it might not have been so difficult. The timing, to put it bluntly, sucked. Oh, and it wasn’t about defaulting, because I have never missed a payment or bounced a check in my life. It was a decision made by a faceless functionary who knew nothing about me- just numbers on a screen. He said, “This isn’t working for us. But we value your business.”

No, I am not making that part up.

Let this be a warning to you- particularly small business owners:  even if you don’t default, even if you pay your bills on time you could end up on some bank’s/insurance company’s/government department’s shit list. Then wait for the fun to start.

It was a very expensive and unpleasant to sort it all out. I didn’t really sleep well for about two months. I still don’t. The good news: I think I pulled a rabbit out of my ass this time but, in so doing, I used up all my rabbits. Still, it made me realize how close I was to being pushed into the ranks of the ‘fallen’. You manage, you juggle, you get through. Usually. I look at the less-fortunate in a different way now. I wonder how many were actually managing until they got blown out of the water by something, someone or some institution they trusted.

It’s worth a thought…and a listen to the song that got me thinkin’.

http://soundcloud.com/david-findlay/fallen/s-nzGWB 

"Show me the Money, Jerry"

I have been thinking a lot lately about online social networking.

The old advice used to be, “Network, network, network!” I suppose that is a very sound notion. But lately, I have been torn between the perception of social media and the noise of constantly being marketed to. Or at. And I sometimes wonder who is still listening.

Here’s a story for you…(cue Beverly Hillbillies Theme about a man named Jed..) When I retired from teaching in the mid 90’s I had to move my pension money into what they call a LIRA (which I think is a Locked-In Retirement Account…or something only brilliant financial people understand. Sort of like derivatives, only better) This was a pretty hot time in the online world. Lots of folks were in a constant state of arousal over this new thing “the Internet” and hi-tech companies were popping up everywhere and venture capitalists were falling over themselves to give these companies money. The THING to invest in was hi-tech. You were and IDIOT to NOT invest in this. An idiot, I tell you. Every advisor, between ejaculations, would breathlessly tell you how these stocks were growing 20, 30, 40% OR MORE!! I never liked shaking hands with these people.

Now it occurred to me, a boring little musician, that these companies didn’t really do anything. They didn’t make anything nor did they seem to do much. (“nooooo…it’s virtual! It’s the information superhighway…we’re in the information age…no more manufacturing! Let China do that old-fashioned crap…we process information now! Didn’t you know that, you Luddite?) Yes many companies had potential to, uh, do something but I wasn’t really sure what. Having been brought up by a Scot who lived by the maxim that if you can’t explain what you do in 10 words or less, you probably aren’t doing anything. I was suspicious. But I thought maybe I just didn’t get it.

So, to be clever, I put my retirement money into a LIRA, which was invested in hi-tech companies. These companies had averaged 40% returns in the previous 2 years. All winners.

You know how this ends, don’t you? It was the late 90’s and I had visions of huge gains and retiring well with the power of absurdly fabulous compound interest. When the ass fell out of the high-tech market once The Emperor was indeed found to be naked, my LIRA stood for  “Lose It Right Away”. Nasty.

Which brings me to social media.

I have been re-building my business since moving here last May. I have a terrific group of new music clients. And I still have a number of clients in Toronto for whom I compose music for their TV or corporate productions. I am trying to expand that client base and, like all modern fellas, am using social media to pimp my wares. I have a significant presence and post regularly on Facebook, Twitter and Linkedin- one of which you have used to find this brilliant blog. Even the blog is tied to my website that links back to everything else. I am SO modern and with-it.

But I was thinking that, in all the noise I make whoring myself, how much actual money have I made because someone found me so irresistible online that they HAD to work with me- either give me a gig, a film to score, audio to do or an album to record.

The answer is simple: $0

My clients have all been gained the old fashioned way: personal introductions, referrals from existing clients and/or warm hand-offs. They are all on my social media now, but were clients before they were on my Facebook/Linkedin/Twitter. Bob Ardern, whose CD I just finished producing found me on the Music Nova Scotia website and found that I lived 2 blocks away. So, I suppose you could say he found me online. But it was not through the “usual” channels.

I like the notion that I can expand my network of potential clients by having 10,000 in my Linkedin network. But without a personal connection, or living 2 blocks away, I wonder how much real business value it has. I know it’s good advertising and you have to be visible. And people need to see you through your website. Who trusts a business without a website? But I am of the mind that much of it may be like the colour flyers you get in the mail: noise you take little notice of in the constant din of being advertised at.

Perhaps I am wrong and maybe one the film producers on my Twitter or Linkedin here will be directed to this blog and say, “Call that guy Findlay right now and have him score that show!”  You might even think this whole blog entry is but a clever attempt at marketing myself. You might.

Maybe. Wouldn’t that be nice if my clever marketing idea bore fruit? We will see.

Why on EARTH Did I Make a Movie?

Danielle Dubois, Stephen Spielberg, Melantha Blackthorne

I must have been on drugs.

It was at a time when I was curious about the process of producing a film. And I had a little extra money. But my good friend Kevin Woodhouse had a script for a Martial Arts flick. Entitled, “The Order of One”, it would be very much grind house- style (unfortunately a few years before Tarantino made that cool again), low budget…just lots of action with very little plot and some breasts for good measure (breasts…measure…get it? Never mind) It’s about a sacred sword that gives whoever holds it great, unbeatable, super-natural power. Everyone wants it- various criminal factions and a nasty crime lord. Stephen Harper would have wanted it too if only he’d known. I think he was unavailable for the days we were shooting. I am pretty sure. But basically, the film was aimed at 19 year olds who are completely baked in their basements (ok, their mothers’ basements) wanting a laugh between pizza deliveries on a Friday night. Oh, and to see people getting the crap kicked out of them in all sorts of exciting ways. And breasts. Did I mention breasts?

We had a good critical mass of people to work on it. Jason Cavalier, an actor and Montreal-based martial artist and stunt man was keen to direct the action and play the lead role of Sonny, an escaped convict. I was studying Martial Arts in Oakville, Ontario, and had the honour of working with the amazing Grand Master Hung Chul Kim- a 9^th degree Tae Kwon Do Black Belt (I think you can only be awarded 10^th degree posthumously…) and Master Harrison Chan, a stunningly superb martial artist (and 5^th degree Master) who had just finished a 6-week training camp in Korea. He was very buff- and dazzling in his skill. Truly, it’s hard to miss when you do fight sequences with people of this caliber. They were quite happy to be the “bad guys”, and speak in Korean to each other. No martial-arts film would be complete without subtitles. Jason was quite delighted to have these experts to choreograph. Everyone (myself included) had at least a black belt in some kind of Martial Art. I, of course did the suitably-retro soundtrack, which I hope to have out soon. I also did a guest appearance as a drug-addled, perverted, strip-club owner. Frankly, it wasn’t much of a leap for me- although I am always worried about becoming type-cast.

It was tongue in cheek, 70’s retro silly. I bought 2 old clunker cars, goofy fancy-coloured clothing and several thousand dollars worth of fake gunshot hits. When you have no real money to make a movie, you can’t afford to take yourself seriously. Lots of fights, car chases, falling off buildings (nice to have a professional stuntman as your lead actor/action director), fake blood and a cast who were really great sports about it all. Wonderful people, all. Everyone understood what we were making and that it was, in essence, an homage to Sonny Chiba and his tacky 1970’s exploitation flicks- right down to the metal strips in Jason’s armbands. And for good measure, Jason (who edited it along with his scream-queen partner, the bodacious Melantha Blackthorne) added cartoon bubbles over the more memorable executions, such as “skull destruction fist”, or “eyeball destruction”. Kind of like when Batman hit a bad guy and “POW” would come up on the screen. No, “Gone With the Wind” it ain’t. But it’s a lot more fun. And to top it off, part of the fun of doing it was that the production itself something of a family affair- Kevin's wife, Danielle Dubois (pictured above) was a gun-totin' Siren as well as an occasional sound-person, full time makeup, effects and wardrobe person (blame those outfits on her) and craft girl among a zillion other jobs. I have nothing but good things to say about her muffins. Melantha, who filmed most of it,  is Jason's real-life partner. Very incestuous. OK, not really. But sort of.

I travelled extensively to try and sell the thing. I discovered that there are plenty of folks who will take your movie into their stable of films, give you nothing for it and promise you that you won’t make a dime from it.  It’s amazing how many people will actually  still “sell” their film to outfits like this.  And to be fair, the usual distributors of even low-end fare really didn’t know what to make of something like “Order of One”. The ubiquitous presence of Youtube was still a ways off and its populist, folksy mindset had yet to take hold.  Indeed, it was hard to imagine the crazy shit that some people really like to watch-  as we now know thanks to the aforementioned Youtube. Indeed, I thought our crazy shit was no crazier- and a lot more entertaining – than most. We even had a coveted midnight showing at the 2006 Fantasia Film Festival and a number of excellent reviews.  But sadly, our little film fell into the cracks.

Alas, as in every story there is a hero. Julian Grant, a good friend and film maker with more artistic integrity than just about anyone else I have known, called me up and said he had found someone who might put out “Order of One”.  His name was (and still is) Warren Croyle, of Chemical Burn Entertainment, and specializes in selling these kinds of flicks. WARNING OF PIMPAGE!!!! BUY IT HERE: (http://www.chemicalburn.org/comedies_and_docs.html)

So this fall, “Order of One: Kung-Fu Killing Spree” hit the streets. (Yes…marketing required an adjustment to the title) The reviews were generally excellent- particularly by those who “get” this type of film:

I honestly can’t recommend this flick enough. I know I have a reputation for intentionally watching/ loving bad films, but that’s not the case at all with ORDER OF ONE. I legitimately loved the shit out of it. It’s the perfect amount of batshit crazy and over-the-top action.

(That’s from http://dailygrindhouse.com/reviews/order-of-one-2006/)

If you are expecting a multi-million dollar extravaganza, you will be disappointed. One reviewer (and seriously, only one) was scathing in his critique:

This film is nothing more than idiotic, mindless, silly, brain dead exploitation. The direction is shoddy, the script is pathetic, and the production value is non-existent.

We’ll try and be more inclusive and culturally sensitive next time. At least he did say this:

If I have to say something positive about the movie I think I would commend the fair amount of people in the film who obviously had some sort of martial arts experience, as they seemed to know what they were doing

“..some sort of martial arts experience…” You are too kind.  And you, dear reviewer, obviously have an exceptionally small penis.

Anyway, judge for yourself if you wish. (About the film, not that guy’s penis…) This is, indeed, a shameless plug for “Order of One- Kung Fu Killing Spree” and do keep in mind that I still have a kid in college, OK?