Tuesday, October 4, 2011

12 Times the Charm

This is the 12th version of my studio.

As I put this place together, I realized that I have connected and disconnected this mess 12 times in 12 different locations including 4 Canadian provinces.

It was longer getting this one going because a) I was too poor to renovate the outbuilding; , b) I had it sort of going in my basement- enough to score a TV show anyway- which I managed to do,  and C) It was summer and we had just moved and I had a lot of wallpaper to hang.

I realized a few things in doing this. The first is that this is the best studio space I have had. And I don’t pay rent because I own the building. That is good. After the financial sodomizing I took in Toronto, it’s sure nice to reduce your overhead- even if you have to spend a few thousand bucks to do it.

The other thing that I realized is that I am now officially fed up plugging all this shit in. I no longer gleefully squeeze behind boxes of equipment and plug in 3 Pro Tools interfaces while lying on my back. 5 minutes of sitting like a pretzel sent jolts of agony through my hips. I needed serious drink to alleviate the pain induced by crawling, slithering, reaching, bending, twisting, lifting and separating.  This was no joy; it was Nazi Yoga. And I, for one, am done with it.

That said, it really is a lovely and flexible space. Indeed, my neighbour and contractor, the lovely and talented Alan Burns, was meticulous in his construction. This part of Nova Scotia has a number of excellent craftsmen- many of whom come from a long tradition of boat builders. They make everything to standards that  can withstand the gales of the Atlantic. And as a bonus, my Kawai grand piano- which has followed me since I was 14 (it’s a good thing it can’t talk because it has seen more of me in the last 38 years that I care to think about) It looks very pretty in there and is a good addition. Digital is nice, but a real instrument like that is a huge asset. 

Now I begin the process of whoring and pimping myself, my facility and my services. I am currently in the middle of my first recording project (with guitarist Bob Ardern) and I am sure I will get a chance to find out which cables I plugged in wrong. Out of the 10 million, there has to be one bad one. One. Two, tops. It’s a good thing Bob is patient.

As well I have named the place “Otitis Media”. It sounds very shi-shi but you medical types will know it’s the official name for an ear infection…you know the one that keeps your kids up all night screaming? Yeah. Well maybe I can do that for you too. At a very reasonable price.

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